There could be no other interpretation of the committee’s response when I offered to deliver a lecture on Victorian comedy at their science fiction book fair.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that organizers of sci-fi book fairs are in desperate need of more interesting speakers.
I told them so.
They told me to get out.
Ruffian interns shepherded me to the street.
I received a call.
“Did you hear they approved a symposium on Jules Verne?” asked my agent.
Another blow.
I had been drawn to Texas, confident of the community’s embrace. Thousands would attend the fair, each a potential fan of my work.
It’s early days, but feedback from my LibraryThing book giveaway of An Aspiration to Lie Flat looks very promising.
Here are some excerpts from the reviews. (The full reviews and more can be found on LibraryThing.)
“This is a totally inane book that should be read by many.”
Edit: I couldn’t agree more.
“To me, it was a big joke, in a good way.”
“This story is hilarious, absurd, has a lot of heart, and is almost scary as in how I can imagine it could actually happen to someone.”
“What a fun whirlwind of a read! Keep in mind that at a quick 129 pages there simply isn’t a lot of time for nuance. Just enjoy the ride! I sure did!”
“I wasn’t sure what to expect from An Aspiration to Lie Flat, but it completely won me over. The humor is dry and understated, the kind that lingers and gets funnier the more you think about it. The main character is a disaster in the best way, yet you can’t help but root for him. The writing is sharp, fresh, and unlike most books I’ve picked up. If you enjoy offbeat, clever stories that break away from the usual formula, this one is definitely worth reading.”
Let me begin this report by extending my heartfelt gratitude to the entire society staff for their assistance throughout the day. (Rest assured, the fifty-five dollar balance on my invoice will be arriving shortly.)
After a brief reading, which seemed well received by the listening security guard, I hosted a public signing for my new book An Aspiration To Lie Flat. The society seated me behind a large desk stacked with paperback copies of my book, in a gorgeous space large enough to accommodate the expected crowd.
Things were going well until the security guard—whose reaction I had clearly misjudged—approached.
“Your writing would be so much better if you let your characters feel any emotions besides pissed off and hurt,” he lectured.
“Thanks,” I replied, feeling pissed off and hurt. “Would you like me to sign a copy for you?”
“No. I’m definitely not interested. That chapter you read? Said it all, man. Said it all.”
Fortunately, the other two society employees were kinder. One told me she would consider purchasing my book in the future.
I counted it as a sale.
What a rewarding experience!
I am pleased to report that the entire event proceeded without incident. Wait times remained acceptably low throughout.
To those who could not attend: I understand. Parking was limited.
I want different things from fiction than the market currently provides, at least in any great abundance.
For example, I don’t enjoy atmospherics. I especially dislike long passages describing a place everyone is already vaguely familiar with (even more so when the process is used by the author solely to demonstrate verbal wizardry.)
Though it is not recent, take this passage from Brideshead Revisited:
“Oxford, in those days, was still a city of aquatint. In her spacious and quiet streets men walked and spoke as they had done in Newman’s day; her autumnal mists, her grey springtime, and the rare glory of her summer days—such as that day—when the chestnut was in flower and the bells rang out high and clear over her gables and cupolas, exhaled the soft vapours of a thousand years of learning.” — Evelyn Waugh
That is beautiful, highly evocative writing. It is much better than anything I can produce.
But it bores me when books go on and on that way.
(Also, please note that I’m passing up an easy ‘soft vapours’ joke about Waugh’s Brideshead prose in an effort to appear mature. This is a moment of personal growth.)
He’s a Jamaican American who is just releasing his second novel with the fantastic title, “How To Dodge A Cannonball”.
I found him because his new book is in the same LibraryThing Early Reviewer batch as mine.
I can’t comment on his book as it is unreleased and I haven’t seen any samples. But I looked at the reviews he’s managed to accumulate from advance readers, then headed over to his website.
The Fenwick Press™ April 10 For Circulation as Required
We are advised that Stanton Fenwick’s forthcoming novella, The Perils Of Making Progress, has been nominated for a Fenwick Award. The nomination was extended late Wednesday, following a review of the manuscript’s publicly available chapters and a collection of the author’s hastily scribbled notes.
This marks Mr. Fenwick’s fourth nomination overall and first for a work still under revision. The committee noted Stanton’s growth as an author, citing “early evidence of a plot” and “an almost human display of talent.”
Mr. Fenwick has acknowledged the nomination but has issued no statement.
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The Fenwick Press™ is not a real publishing house, though it tries very hard to behave like one. All names, institutions, and positions on this site are part of a satirical author persona. No affiliation with any actual entity, whether past, present, or even regrettably imagined, is intended.
The Fenwick Press™ was founded in 1843 by accident and continues to publish pretty much “whatever.”
Stanton Fenwick 