My most fervent desire is to outsell Julius Caesar in book sales.
The thought consumes me.
Exact figures are elusive, but informed estimates suggest that printers of Caesar’s collected works still move between 20,000 and 50,000 copies per year worldwide.
This means that I must accept the Herculean challenge of selling 50,001 copies of my book An Aspiration to Lie Flat in a single year if I am to claim to have defeated Julius Caesar (by at least one unit).
It is, I’ll admit, an odd goal. And an ignoble one.
But I could really use your help.
Every copy you purchase brings us closer to Caesar’s overthrow (in the sales charts). I can’t defeat him alone. I need your assistance badly.
As an added benefit of your purchase (besides aiding me in the long-overdue vanquishing of Caesar), the book is actually very funny. You won’t simply be contributing to a good cause. You can read the book, too!
What a deal!
Please spare a moment to view An Aspiration To Lie Flat’s Amazon listing and perhaps seize a copy for yourself. It is there for the taking.
Thanks for your time, and may your day be pleasant.
We will prevail.
“…and then I realized you couldn’t sue me for libel so I really went after you!”
Stanton Fenwick 